You spent years measuring yourself.
Measuring what you could say, what you could feel, how much space you were allowed to take up. You learned to make yourself small so you wouldn't be a bother, to cut pieces of yourself away to fit into spaces that were never your size.
And then you wondered why you felt so cramped.
The love that shrinks
There are relationships that look like love but are negotiation. You give away a piece of yourself, the other person stays. You hide an opinion, the conflict doesn't happen. You let go of a desire, the peace holds.
But that peace has a price. Every piece you cut away to fit is a piece of you that gets lost. And after a while, you don't even recognise yourself. And the other person, without knowing it, is loving an edited version of someone who no longer exists.
What changes
Love changes when you take up your full size. Not with aggression. With presence. When you say what you feel without apologising for it. When you hold a boundary without justifying yourself. When you let the discomfort exist without rushing to fix it.
Some relationships will expand to hold you. Others won't be able to. And that is the hardest and most liberating truth you will ever find.
The love that serves you is the one that fits you whole. Not the edited version. You.